October 24, 2010

Dear Lucia,

Your father and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary on the 21st. Do you know when he proposed to me a huge part of his proposal was an expression of how he wanted so badly to have a baby, to have a family of our own? He proposed on 11/5/05, and we knew we wanted a family for so long. Finally it feels complete to have you here. Yes, pets outnumber humans in our house. They probably always will. I'm sure you'll be an animal lover like we are. You seem curious about the pugs and cats now, and I'm sure you'll be fast friends when you are older. You are such an amazing addition to our family. We have everything we need. We have waited for you for so long, and you're here!! Every day feels like Christmas. I wake up and you are sleeping soundly next to me, and I peek in on you often. Or you are wide eyed and awake. I turn on your little bassinet light and you are laying there looking at me. You are not fussy for the most part. You are so easygoing and calm. You are very curious in your feeding tube, however. I cannot WAIT for this to come out. It's got to go! We want to take you to so many places but it's more complicated because of your feeding. I hope one day I can breastfeed you. I'm staying hopeful. It's one thing you've taught me, it's to be hopeful and to believe in things you'd never think were possible.

Early intervention from NJ is coming tomorrow to assess you and see if you have any special needs. I think they will find you to be the picture of good health. Your pediatrician sure seems to think so. I'm not going to worry. I'm watching a video my friend Tish made of you, a tribute to your life so far, to the miracle that is you. I can't believe the ride we've had so far, you and me. I never gave up hope on you, and I am so glad. I think my love and my faith in you had a huge part in your healing. I touched you,held your hand, kissed you, talked to you. I never left your side. I know you were aware of that. These are things which baffle doctors - they don't know how/why you turned around. So Early intervention is coming because of the severity of your HIE and your traumatic birth. They will be surprised too. They won't believe that love healed and saved you. You healed and saved me.

I love you so much. You are more and more beautiful and alert each day.

Love, Mama