Dear Lucia,
You certainly keep me busy! I can't believe it has been so long, and yet I can believe it. What happened this month... more snow, an ice storm, a huge bout with the flu that had myself and Daddy down for the count for over a week. You stayed healthy. I credit breastmilk with keeping you strong, your immune system is a powerhouse.
We had a lovely long weekend with you last weekend - Daddy and I were both home for Presidents' Day. At your last pediatrician visit, you are up to 12lbs 8oz!! Finally making it over 12 lbs!!! This is such great news. I was beginning to worry a little. I can't help it. I keep fearing that if you stay tiny, I may be told to add formula to your diet, and I don't want to do that. I have so much milk in the deep freezer. I would cry if I had to supplement your meals. Thank you for sticking with it, for having such a hearty appetite, and for trusting that Mama would take care of you. It is an amazing feeling to know that all my hard work has paid off. I make your sustenance. I have helped you grow healthy and strong. It is such hard work, pumping all the time, cleaning bottles, pump parts, etc. You are worth it. I am so proud of myself for not giving up. Your milk is still being thickened but you have another swallow test in mid-March. I know you will blow them all away that day. I hope we can finally move past this extra step in your feeding process. I am trying to hang on to the hope that we can attempt breastfeeding. I really want to do this. It will be okay if I can't, but I really want to!!
So what are your tricks these days... You like to laugh and giggle, you go from giggles to full-on laughing fits. You smile all the time. You are a happy baby. Even when you are fussing from teething, when Daddy picks you up and flies you in the air as airplane baby, you smile and laugh. You are so easily soothed. This is why you still sleep in our room. Though this practice may be controversial or not everyone's cup of tea, this works best for us. You like knowing we are there, and we like knowing you are okay. I can hear when you start to stir and comfort you and take care of you before you get worked up and upset. You are easily soothed, and usually you just want Daddy or me to walk you around and rub your back, tickle your feet, stroke your head, bounce you. You love cuddling with Sophie too. She is your friend. We took pictures of you holding hands, rubbing her tummy.
I love that you are such a happy baby. Hearing you laugh is the best music in the world. Your hair is getting so long, and you are getting bigger every day. I can't believe how fast time flies. Although I'm working I am thinking of you constantly. I am trying to do the best I can every day for you. I savor the moments where we can all snuggle together or play with you and make you giggle. I love our quiet times at the end of the day. Being your mother makes my life worthwhile, gives new meaning to my life, makes me smile wider than I ever have.
I love you, Lucia. You know I can't worry about you, because worry means I'm doubting you. And when I look at you, there is no room for doubt.
Love,
Mama
