May 18, 2011

Dear Lucia,

You are over 8 months now. In typical Lucia fashion, you are showing off. I cannot put into words the relief I feel when you reach another monumental milestone. Also, the pride. I am so proud of you. We all have worked so hard to get where we are today, but you have worked the hardest. You are so determined, so motivated. You inspire me. Here I complain about squeezing a workout in on a busy workday. You are accomplishing greatness. They were so worried about your weakness and low muscle tone. But we worked - we did exercises, repetition, muscle memory, strengthening you, and you took off and showed improvement. Over the course of last week, we saw a difference. By Saturday, we stopped in Cottontails to look for an activity table - if you have toys to play with and amuse you, we figured you would be motivated to stand. I held you up to the first table we saw, and you just stood while I supported your hips. Wow. Next table, same thing. I was cautious and didn't want to let go. On the way out, we saw a play kitchen, and I wanted to show Daddy. I said, "Look at Lucia go!" and he told me to let go, and I did. And you stood, facing this little play stove with pots and pans. And you were playing. And I let go... !! You are amazing. I called your therapists to tell them and they were so proud of you. Since then you have done it more or less every day and we've captured photos of this milestone. Every day when I feel sad (it's been a very rainy, gray week) I look at your picture hanging by my desk, and I smile. I am so proud of you. Proud isn't the word. Amazed. You are growing up so fast. You are gaining weight; I can tell. Your face looks chubbier, your clothes fit you better. You are so amazing, little girl.

You still continue to have little interest in fruits, but you LOVE spinach. I made you a little mix of spinach, rice, milk, and will add some tofu...it's like your saag paneer. You love veggies. I'm going to experiment with spices, too. I'm so proud of myself for making your food. It only takes an hour or so on Saturdays and I have weeks' worth of food in my freezer. You are worth it, and I am proud of myself for ensuring you have fresh food, expressed milk (even though 8 months of pumping has been exhausting, stressful, aggravating). You are worth it. Your health is the most important thing in the world to me. You have continued to thrive (failure to thrive? um, no) and you haven't gotten sick once. Obviously what we're doing is working. You are such a wonderful, happy, laughing, talkative baby (Da-da-da continues to be your favorite word!). You obviously miss me when I'm at work because when I get home, all you want is for me to hold you, and you hug and kiss me. You need me, and I need you. Our relationship has never been all one-sided, me taking care of you. You take care of me too. I need these snuggles with you. There is no better feeling in the world than being able to cuddle you at the end of the day.

I love you, Lucia. Now that you are making so much progress it's time to slow things down a bit. Don't grow up too fast on me...

Love, Mama