May 10, 2011

Dear Lucia,

You are almost 8 months. Time flies. You know, it's tough sometimes, to just appreciate, to enjoy, to savor. I admit sometimes I succumb to fear and worry, and I suppose that is normal, but you deserve my confidence, my faith, my trust. Every time I worry, you look at me, and you know how to reassure me. You smile, you continue to excel, you remind me that you are a miracle and that I have to have hope. And I will.

You are small - people keep telling me how tiny you are, how old you look because of your hair, but that you are so tiny. You are, and it's ok. We had tests done and there is nothing wrong. We're adding some calorie powder to your food, but either way, you are okay. You sit up on your own so well now. You are pushing up more on your hands. We are working with you to bear weight on your legs and you WILL get there. You are motivated, that is what your PT says. The key is repetition, toys to motivate you, and you will get there. Daddy and I sat with you last night and rolled a ball to you and I helped you push it back to Daddy. You got the hang of it and took over after a few tries. You loved it. You love doing your exercises on the ball, and you are getting stronger. I am at peace with the fact that you have some physical delays. I will accept that. There is nothing you can't do; it just might take you a little longer. You love your jumper - LOVE to show off your jumping, get excited when the music plays, and I clap at you. Your legs are strong, and you'll gain strength every day.

That said, you will have some physical delays, but cognitively, you are on target. You are talkative - you LOVE to say "dadadadada", your favorite word. You whisper, "Dada" to me. :) You love to say something that sounds like "heeeeeey" too. You've said "Mama" but "Dada" is your preference, and "gaga". You LOVE to laugh. You find Daddy amusing when he plays peekaboo and we tickle you. Your personality is so perfect - such a happy girl you are. You bring a smile to my face over and over again.

We went to Baltimore for a trip over Easter weekend - not too bad of a drive except for the crazy traffic!! But you were great in the car, easygoing as always. You slept pretty well in the hotel, enjoying all the room we had on our bed. You enjoyed your first Yankee game - they played amazingly and you slept for a lot of it on my lap. It was a night game but you did well - slept and then woke up for the last 2.5 innings. You kept trying to grab the food of the person to my right, but it was ok. You charmed everyone you met. :)

On Sunday morning, Mother's Day, we snuggled in bed with you (you sleep with us a lot these days because of reflux!) and you hugged me and put your head on my chest. This was the sweetest moment and it made my first Mother's Day. I get teary eyed still - I almost lost you. I am so grateful that you are here with me, that I get to be your mom. I have so much pride, so much love, so much admiration for you. You are such a beautiful girl. You continue to be so alert and interested in everything, grabbing EVERYTHING in sight (hair, glasses, remotes, etc.) and you love plastic bags, paper, Sophie's tail. It makes me proud that when we meet doctors for the first time, who only know you from your birth history, they are blown away. They have an expectation of a completely different baby than you are. You continue to amaze everyone, and I admit that I am so proud of you and how far you've come.

You are such a sweetie, Lucia! I love you so much.

Love, Mama

P.S. - i LOVE that all the doctors still want to keep you on my milk, NO supplementing. I'm so proud of my hard work, and you have stayed so healthy because of it. Woot! Big victory here, because if one more person asks when I'm switching to formula or supplementing, I will lose it. Finally, at long last, validation of what I knew all along.